Aeternalis - What is Eternal?

Psalm 23

2007-09-11T00:01:00.000+08:00

Surely? Shirley? Surely-Shirley? lol

Everything

2007-09-01T01:23:00.000+08:00

Everything. This might just change your life.

Ask me about this.

Song of Solomon

2007-08-29T02:19:00.000+08:00

True Love does exactly that.

The 24th of August 2007

2007-08-25T02:21:00.000+08:00

Today, I'm going to blog about the 24th of August 2007.

Well, I actually wanted to blog on the 24th of August about the 24th of August, but things came up. Been trying to spend my well earned hols with lotsa things that I've been planning to do when I wasn't on hols... but as usual, the utilization of the time falls short of all the much anticipated plans.

So I end up sleeping, eating, churching, playing pool. I had initially planned to go for the Life Retreat but my parents are leaving for the States on Monday, so I decided to spend more time with them. They suggested I use the rest of my week to go overseas somewhere, and I was considering going to New Zealand, Australia, Singapore or even to America with them... but then again, I just have a week, so I'll just stick around and see if AYA can use me. (Elder, you better bring me go Jogoya!) Besides, what am I gonna do in Australia anyway? Chase penguins or hunt bunnies? X_x

Oops, I kinda deviated abit. Today's post is about the 24th of August. (have i mentioned that yet?) Well it began kinda like this:

It was the Friday I'm supposed to collect my results from IMU in Seremban for my End of Semester 7 exams. But I've been in Subang for the past 3 days since the end of the exams on Monday. So I was to get a lift from a friend of mine called Kun Leng.
This is Kun Leng:

She's the girl whose birthday we're celebrating in this picture. She's a good friend of mine from Kelantan and one of my study partners. We mutually benefit from each others strengths: I get good drilling from her in the theory sense of Medicine, while I help her in the counselling and patient communication part of medicine. (my so called fuah-fuah-ing skills) As a result, we've been doing quite well so far! (both of us being top in our respective psychiatry postings) So much for being a gynae huh? well... I'll be a psychiatric obstetric gynaecologist then! I can treat the crazy babies! O_0

Anyways, back to the 24th of August. So i'm supposed to meet Kun Leng at the Putra Heights petrol station to go to Seremban. She just got back from Kelantan the night before and at the stipulated time (10 am) I received a phone call from her. (I was in the petrol kiosk at that time) She said that she had arrived, so I looked out the kiosk trying to find her car and her diminuitive figure. I couldn't locate her, so I thought maybe she meant she was about to arrive, so I continued reading a magazine. Then a car horn sounded, and I looked up again and saw:

A taxi. A Nissan Sentra taxi... and she was inside waving at me to get in.

I calmly entered the taxi, disregarding the stares of disbelief from the petrol kiosk workers and the people on their way to work, took a deep breath and went:

'What in the #$%&*/! are you doing in a taxi?!!?'

well, it turns out that her dad has 2 taxi permits, and some stuff about her brother going overseas and selling the previous car and how taxies are actually much cheaper than their non taxi counterparts and that she has to drive this taxi for 1 year in Seremban and when she was driving really really fast one day, the top thingy of the taxi with the lights actually flew off the roof and hit an incoming motorcyclist killing him instantaneously. (well, everything except the killing part. The thingy did fly off)

So for the remainder of the journey, we got WEIRD stares from motorists and the toll collectors. The only good thing I suppose is we got 50% off the toll itself. =D I was praying that the police do not stop us cos it turns out that our dear friend didn't have a license to drive a taxi. (no surprise there...) Anyways, we reached IMU unmolested, collected our results. We both passed, woohoo!

Then we decided to go to Pyramid and have a nice lunch to celebrate. Parking the taxi and getting back to the taxi was 'interesting' to say the least. We ate at the Thai B-B-Q Plaza... its good stuff, really recommend it to you carnivores. Anyways, it was a good day in all.

God rawks. I'm done with my EOS 7 with His help. 3 more to go and I'll be done! Semester 8 is supposed to be quite relaxing, what with no major examinations and 'just' the minor postings to go through. At the end of it though, I'll be climbing Mount Kinabalu for my elective and doing my Selective posting in Hospital Umum Kuching around Jan 2008. I think its a really nice place to work, and if all goes well, it'll be one of my options to work at in the near future. Well one thing at a time I suppose.

Thanks for bearing through this long post with me. I'll leave you guys with more weird pictures.

Chinese Crested Hairless dogs

Dog + Horse = ?

I think its a cool dog... Anyhoo, I'm still not able to get the picture of that Datschund + German Shephard. In my next post, I'll feature the Anglo-whatchamallit Wire-haired Pointer.

All dawg pictures courtesy of http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/

Ratatouille Review

2007-08-23T11:57:00.000+08:00

Animated films are a dime a dozen nowadays... with stuff like Happy Feet, Surf's Up, Shrek 4, 5, 18 and many more 'Pixar' Wannabes.

But Pixar once again shows me why I always end up watching their stuff, just like how Hayao Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli always draw me to their work.

Ratatouille I have to say was easily one of the more memorable animated movie's I've seen for a very long time. It gave me a nostalgic, warm fuzzy feeling (its not easy with the volume of hair I've got) and an intense desire to go to Paris and blow 300 francs on a measly gourmet dish with plate size being like a pizza pan... and the meal itself being the size of a McEgg.

The storyline was original, and thank God it didn't involve a plot where a group of animals save the world or escape from the zoo or rapping turtles. The french accents were hilariously fake. The music was excellent! I've got the OST already, and the company was good too. ;)

I definitely recommend this show to anybody, guy or girl. Oh, and to those in relationships, go watch it together! It'll definitely get the guy inspired to try cooking for the girl, and the girl would be too nice to say it tastes like Rat poo.
'Anyone can cook!'

on a side note, I'll be getting my result slip from Seremban tomorrow. Thanks for remembering me in prayers guys. I'm pretty confident that I've passed this exam, thanks to God's grace... I'll post about it as soon as I can.

Welsh Corgi

2007-08-19T16:08:00.001+08:00

A Welsh Corgi

Isn't the dog I was talking about earlier... but hey, Jie Ying said that my blog will apparently be boring without pictures, so there.

Last exam to go tomorrow! Pray for me guys.

The Ugliest Dog in the World.

2007-08-17T01:01:00.001+08:00

This post is about the Ugliest Dog in the World (in my opinion)

Around my neighbourhood, there's this nice middle aged Indian lady... She seems pretty nice. The only problem with her is she loves dogs. (in an extremist fashion) She buys 'Chap-fan' and feeds a whole pack of strays at night. Once when it was raining, she walked over to her neigbour's house (which one of my batchmates, Ming Keong is staying) and conveniently opens the gate to let 4-5 dogs into the house so they can take shelter...
where they promptly chewed up my friend's shoes.

Anyways, as a result of this... much breeding has occured between the dogs and one of the end results showcased today:

A dog with a head of a German Shephard and the body of a Datschund (sausage dog)

Just try to imagine it in your head... and the head isn't scaled down okay... its still the size of an average German Shephard. but its short and stocky... with really really really short legs.

However, the result of the interbreeding has also resulted in the birth of one of the cutest pure white mongrel puppies i've ever seen!!! (beats ann-nyee's white terrier anytime)

Anyways, I'll let you all wait in suspense... as I wait for the right oppurtunity to sneak up to that area of the neighbourhood with a camera to show you guys what I mean. Lets just hope I don't end up being lunch.

=D

Caught between a rock and a hard place.

2007-08-16T04:22:00.001+08:00

Caught between a rock and a hard place.

While watching the Simpsons movie, I was reminded of this proverb/idiom/metaphor. The show was really funny, in a sick twisted way... but chaotic mayhem is sometimes required in our life, no?

Anyways, I realize that this blog requires some CPR right now... and the only reason I'm actually posting this is cos I actually have visitors to my blog even while it was dead! My stat counter slowly but steadily increases and I have no idea why... hmmm, maybe people just wanna use my links page to get to other people's blogs? beats me.

Quick update about myself... It's now 4.25 am and i'm waiting for the morning to come so I can sit for my End of Semester 7 OSPE. I just finished my Short Answer Questions portion of the examination 2 days ago... and after today, I have one last OSCE on the 20th of August. Finishing that, I'll have a well deserved (I hope.) rest

I'll even post more often! Oh, for those who do listen to the stuff I write, I've got a few new songs which I'll upload here soon.

All the best to all C2/06 for the EOS 7!

Under Construction!

2006-12-19T19:30:00.000+08:00

I know its been a really long time since i last posted... but moving to Seremban and the new environment has taken quite some time getting used to. Its been 4 months since I came here, finally say that I'm quite settled in and enjoying myself too!

As for this site, many things aren't working anymore such as the chatterbox and other stuff... but will fix all of these as soon as I can. I hope i can post more regularly too in the coming future!

Anyways, have a blessed Christmas everyone! and if you wanna see a really cool Christmas play, go to http://www.theactschurch.org/popups/roadworks/index.html for more info. CampusCity is also starting soon, so check it out as well... www.campuscity.org.my

God bless, peeps!

Thank You.

2006-07-29T02:02:00.000+08:00

All honour, glory and praise belongs to God. By His grace and mercy, He has seen me through a very difficult time... and taught me how to trust Him more.

I passed my semester 5 examinations!

Once again, as it has always been for me, I would not have been able to succeed without Him. Oh and by the way, my coursemate that I talked about in previous posts passed as well! So, I'll be bringing her to church this Sunday. Praise God!

Peace.

2006-07-25T18:27:00.000+08:00

This post will be about my trip to Bukit Tinggi. Lol, before any of you from ACTSChurch say I'm copying Ps. Alex and his own personal retreat, I actually had this idea way back when I was still preparing for my exams. (warning: long post ahead, with some pictures further down.)

Anyways, I left for Bukit Tinggi last Sunday right after Service. I slept most of the way there, and arrived around 3pm. I was staying at Colmar Tropicale which is styled into a French Settlement. First impressions was good, but I initially felt that the weather was too hot to be on a supposedly cool hill. I later found out that when it was cold, it was REALLY cold.

Checked in, rested abit... and later went out of my room around 7.30pm foraging for food. Not to my surprise, much of the food was WAY to overpriced, although the cakes and pastries were relatively cheap. In my three days here in this place, I ate 5 slices of cakes! One Strawberry cheesecake, blueberry cheescake, Black Forest cake (my favourite cake of all time), and 2 more cheesecakes of unknown origins. At only rm8.60 per slice, it was pretty good. I also had a peach danish at rm4.60. Anyways, back to dinner... I had roast chicken and side orders much like Kenny Rogers style, cost me rm28.50. But hey, there wasn't any other place to eat. After eating my fill, I rested abit more in my room, and then went out to fulfill the reason why I came to this place in the first place: to pray.

I went to the top floor of the clock tower in that place which was facing really nice scenary (although at that time I couldn't see anything, it was around 11.30 pm already) I had a wonderful time with God, thanking Him and praising Him for all the good works that He's done in and with my life... I guess the joy of just having finished my finals last week added to the gratitude in my heart. I declared aloud Psalm 145 at that place, even though I was shivering. (genius forgot to bring his jacket from the room) All in all a God-filled time, as I reflected on the season that is ending before me, and looked forward to the coming of new things. God pointed me to areas of my life that I needed to contemplate on, and make decisions as to where I want to go, and how I can change my life to be more like Him. Some hard truths I had to accept, and difficult decisions I've decided to make in order to continue walking along the plans that He has for me. But I remain as I was: Fully convinced.

Before I retired for the night, I took a walk outside the French Settlement down the long winding mountain road. To the right of the road was a steep drop and pretty much a forest. Pine trees were planted all along the road, and there was thousands of those pine cones littered around the road. I walked for a long time, trying to sing (my throat was quite bad) when something caught my eye. It was a firefly! I never seen one before, and it's really quite beautiful. I never thought that it would look like that. I saw all in all 10 fireflies as I walked further down the road. I never saw a bunch of the congregate together though... but even individually it was quite a sight. I didn't try to catch any of them though, they were far too in the forest. Went back after the walk and slept. End of Day 1.

Day 2 began at 7am in the morning, as I woke up and got ready. Had breakfast at 8. Pretty good but routine Free Complimentary Breakfast stuff as in most hotels. More good pastries, good fried rice, soggy hash browns, maple syrup pancakes (!!!), an omellete, and 2 half boiled eggs (the beginner chef had to try with 6 eggs just to get it right... the first two came up 5/6 boiled... White all solid but yellow still liquidy: rejected, the next 2 came up 1/6 boiled... and the last 2 well... I just ate the last 2.) Having finished breakfast, I geared myself for a day of exploring my domain. Took a tram to the Japanese Garden and Botanical Garden which was about 10 minutes drive from where I stayed. Saw lots of nature in the Botanical Garden... there was a tree called Phoebe Grandis, a poisonous plant called the Angel's trumpet, the largest orchid in the world (which was nowhere in sight, only the plant was there) Strawberry plants with no strawberries. (there were a few shriveled white prunes that could pass as strawberries if you were desperate enough) Took a short nap at the garden in this hut place thingy. I entertained the idea of getting a sleeping bag, hiding from the park authorities until the place closed, then sleep overnight. Nah.
The Japanese Garden was pretty cool. Plenty of Zen architecture complete with Japanese Tea House and 2 kimono-garbed women. Entertained the idea of renting a kimono(?) and taking pictures with them. Nah. There was a sign at the pond where all the Koi were swimming though. It said:

Don't throw stones at me.
- Fish -
That was pretty funny.

To live life in every breath, every cup of tea, every life we take. That is bushido, the way of the warrior. - Katsumoto from The Last Samurai.

Wasn't really ready for this picture. But at least the scenary's nice.

Wanted to have lunch at this Japanese Restaurant at that garden called Ryu Zan Tei. One look at the menu's pricing and I decided that Cup noodles would be a better decision. There was this really sad looking green feathered bird locked up in a cage outside the restaurant which seemed desperate to be free. It was banging its head against the steel cage. Pretty sad. Later though when I passed by the place, the bird was gone! (maybe someone took pity on it and let it go.)

Next stop was the rabbit park. I wanted to see a Giant Angoran Droopy Ear Rabbit! (its as big as a small dog. Or a big hamster.) Instead I saw around 40 small sized bunnies. (Hugh Hefner, eat your heart out!) and one BIG humongous white rabbit. I liked this small cute black one though. I think the feeling's mutual. There were some deer in the park as well, and 3 donkeys. (they were really smelly.) After enough rabbit petting and chasing around (harder than chasing chickens) I took a short hike through the 18 hole golf course to reach the Clubhouse to have dinner. I reached there around 5.10pm so I decided to play abit of snooker till 6. I then had dinner which comprised of Pasta with Grilled Fish Fillet which was fantastic! And it only cost me Rm20. I had a pink guave drink too. After dinner, took the tram back to Colmar and rested abit. Went out for night walk later hoping to see more fireflies. There were none, but this time God rewarded me with a clear sky: revealing thousands upon thousands of stars. Perfect. End of Day 2.

Day 3 began with breakfast... and visiting the 2 black and 2 white swans which have now become close buddies of mine. (I don't think the feeling's mutual) They were in this man made enclosure complete with a lake with more koi swimming inside. I now understand why swans are said to 'honk'. They really honk! Its quite funny, seeing such beautiful creatures making such ugly noises. But after awhile, their honking gets quite cute. Black swans are smaller than their white counterparts and much more friendly. They would swim close to me and when I outstretch my hand to touch it, it would honk indignantly and swim away. One time I got frustrated that it wouldn't let me touch it that I just reached out to grab it anyway. It HONKED loudly, but I still managed to get a touch. Felt... swanny. Now the white swans, thats a different story. Most of the time I visit them, they won't be swimming... Rather, they would be lazily basking in the shade. Its really cool to see a swan sleeping, cos they can tuck in their legs and their heads... and all you could see was a white fluff resembling a pillow. I climbed over the enclosure into their compound, snuck up quietly to one of them to pet the white coat of the nearest swan. (the temptation was too great!) I didn't get anywhere near it though, as it promptly reared up its neck and pecked me... the motion kinda like resembles a snake striking its prey. It wasn't painful though so I put my right knee (protected by my pants) near the fella, and watched in amusement as he repeatedly pecked me on the knee. (sadistic.)

Honk.

Lazy swans.

Anyways, the rest of Day 3 wasn't really very eventful. Most of it was waiting for the shuttle bus to take me back to Times Square. It finally arrived at 3.45pm and I reached home after taking a taxi from Times Square at 6pm. The rest of my week will be packed with worship ministry, of which I'm much looking forward to: Wednesday practise, Thursday CampusCity, Friday Kajang AOG, Saturday Teenacity service, Sunday service and leaders retreat. Awesome!

End of a Season, New Beginnings.

2006-07-21T00:28:00.000+08:00

Its finally over.

I've spent more than 300+ hours for the past 2 months preparing for this past 4 days. Definitely the most difficult academic challenge that I've faced thus far. But my preparation is really nothing compared to some of my peers who spend around 10-12 hours a day studying. Some of them genuinely enjoy doing what they do. Don't get me wrong, I do too... but I think from this, I've discovered new limits of mental endurance after experiencing such draining and fatigue. I used to like to think that a good doctor is one who knows his stuff and is compassionate, and although I'm not strong on the first part, the second factor is my redeeming point. True enough, I love interaction with patients and conversing with them, making them feel that they're not just another case on another bed. However, the truth of the matter is, I need to increase my knowledge and medical experience as well. Medicine is a subject with no defined boundaries, the subject matter is too wide to completely cover. But that's no excuse when lives are in your hands.

I'm halfway there! I'm looking forward to my Clinical phase in Seremban, but perhaps a bit nervous as well. I won't be facing books and notes anymore, but people. Real patients, experienced doctors who won't hesitate to blow you away at the first sign of hesitancy. This last 2 and a half years, I will learn the tools of my trade, and learn I shall.

God is at the center of it all. Amazing testimonies of the amount of times in this past 2 months when hopelessness seemed to prevail, God became my Only Hope. There was one time when I really couldn't take it anymore and I just took a walk at around 2 am in the morning a few weeks back. I was really praying hard and walking around my neighbourhood in the dead of night. It seemed hard to break out of the rut that I was in. Just when I was about to give up and head back, suddenly I cried out, 'Lord, help me to TRUST You'. At that exact moment, I walked past this house and in the house was a car with a numberplate. The numberplate had a number (duh.) but below the number was one word: Trust. I stopped dead in my tracks. The first thing that went through my mind was, 'What in the world is the word Trust doing on a numberplate? Brand of numberplate ar?'. Whatever it is, the timing of it, right at that moment when I felt the need to really trust Him. I stood there for a while just staring at the car... and then I laughed. I laughed all the way back to my house perhaps, and I found strength to carry on studying once again.

And now, its over... God has shown Himself to be Faithful again. He always has. He always will. I know that in quiet confidence and trust, I've come to depend on Him. Dependence. Total and complete. I haven't gotten my results yet. I will next Friday, the 29th of July. But yet, I know (as I knew back then during A-levels) that God has did it again for me: a miracle. But God also reminds me of the 'Even if' kind of Faith seen in the lives of Shedrach, Mishech and Abednego. I want that. I truly do... A friend of mine has said that she would follow me to Church if she passed because I prayed for her when she asked me to. Thats really great, but sometimes its also sad that people know only how to thank God after getting what they want in life? How is it with me, Lord? I say that I would thank You, irregardless of success or failure... but I truly wouldn't know unless I fail, would I? Just like how we say that we'd die for You. Would we say any different with a gun pointed at our heads?

Why do we go through trials and tests? Is it because God wants to know how we'd do? My belief is that God already knows the outcome of the testings and the tribulations that He allows us to endure. The reason we go through this, is so that we ourselves know the outcome: where we stand, how strong our Faith is, what it would really take to shake our spiritual foundations, whether we'd say, 'Enough is enough. I quit'. And sometimes, we do give up. I know I have. But if we can learn how to respond instead of react to these failures, then we can pick ourselves up again. Even as a Christian, with the Love and Grace of God being the closest things to my heart that I desperately cling on to, I have failed. But if you've never tasted failure, how would you recognize success?

When it really matters, my friends, make a decision that will count. What you do today, what you say today has eternal consequences. I pray I will as well.

God bless.

6 weird facts about myself?

2006-07-04T09:35:00.000+08:00

Okay... i'm only doing this for the sake of continuity for Michelle and Kelvin's weird tendencies. Hmmm... i'm not very extraordinary really. Anyway, here goes:

6 weird facts about myself.

1. When i was still a toddler, er... I had this set of lorry trucks with the tracks and the little black biji think that the tractor would scoop and bring it to the construction site... Used to be my favourite toy! Well, that was until I put one of those black biji into my nose and it got stuck there... almost died. Was probably turning blue already when my Aunt picked me up and turned me upside down or something like that.

2. Still in toddlerhood, I used to love er... banging my nose against any hard object (wall, floor, door) I think I watched to many woody woodpecker cartoons.

3. When i was in Std 6, my class teacher threw me out of class and tore my exercise book because she caught me for the upteenth time trying to finish my homework in class (I blame the x-men cartoons). Before she allowed me back in though, 10 'guarantors' from my class had to vouch for me (true friends all), meaning that if i messed up again, these 10 would get it alongside me. What drama.

4. Many other near death experiences: Falling on the 3rd floor ledge of school trying to pick up a batu seremban, Getting squashed by a shopping cart at the sloping escalators of Carrefour, Getting caught in between the doors of a closing MRT and the metal safety doors in underground MRTs in Singapore (I was that thin to get caught between!) but i think someone stopped it from closing completely by putting a foot in between the doors, Falling down a flight of stairs in another MRT while chasing a snatch thief in Singapore. Thank God He preserved my life for such a purpose as only He knows. One thing I haven't done is push a girl out of the way of an incoming car, and getting banged in the process. That'd be cool. (watched too many TVB dramas.)

5. I hate durians. I fell on one before.

6. I have a torn ligament in my right knee. For you medical students, its the anterior cruciate ligament. I can't turn directions quickly... If I try, i'd laterally displace my patella and would end up crumbled in a heap. I also have weird ECG readings. ST wave elevation and inverted T wave. That should mean I have a myocardial infarct! Sudden Cardiac Death right after finishing EOS 5 would be the saddest thing that could ever happen to an IMU student.

Anyways, thats about it... Will get back to my studies now! I'm supposed to tag a few other people's blogs to continue this, but i'll just leave it to your own discretion. Let me know if you do post about this, it'd be cool to know weird stuff about you all as well! God bless.

Just a little bit more...

2006-06-21T06:40:00.000+08:00

Future Hokkien Album Cover. (Just imagine the Chinese characters on the left.)

17th till the 21st of July. End of Semester 5 Examinations. Just a little bit more...

Once again, here I am before going to sleep at 7.45 am on the 21st of June. Felt like posting for posting's sake. Thanks to all you faithful readers for bearing with some of my philosphical blabber and narcissistic tendencies. (It's all Michelle's fault.) I haven't compromised on my 'spiritual' writings, Kelvin... it's just that I've had no time. Don't know what to post here, so I'll just post more pictures. This time, pictures of other people! (see, i'm not so narcissistic after all)

Andrew's house gathering. (photo courtesy of Michelle Cheam.)

These are my friends. They are nice. They left me in the car boot. They forgot about me. Lucas remembered he forgot something. He turned to car. He locked car. He walked off. The rest ate dinner.

Ann-Nyee and Michelle Cheam. (and green tea.)

They're among some of the best female vocalists I know personally. Others include Ps. Sandra, Jay Loh, Tessie, Elsa, Chris, Michelle Ng, Barbara Streisand and Anna Kournikova (?). Okay, maybe not the last two...

My roommates in RIBS. Our last day together.

We had wonderful times together didn't we? Studying together, eating together, shouting out windows together, sweeping up hair from the floor together, and wrestling on each others beds without our shirts on. Yes... wonderful times indeed.

Grace Lau aka. Gracie Lau.

IMU senior of the same age. She's the cousin of Sophie Lau. Oh, she's got a fantastic voice as well... She's got 2 huge fish: July and August. (thats their names.) One died though. Really took care of me during my early days in IMU. She's going off to Queensland soon... God bless you, Grace!

International Medical Congeniality Contestants.

or IMCC as we know it in IMU. Don't worry, this isn't how we normally dress up when we go to class... This was during our orientation. To my horror, I was actually initially chosen to be an IMCC. The prerequisite being there must not be a single strand of body hair left on your body. (!!!) Needless to say, I conveniently missed the orientation by going to Singapore to collect my A-level results.

Esther Phan Liling. (Wonder why she didn't sit on a chair...)

One of April Chin Mun Teng's friends from Subang Utama. Most of us used to be in the volleyball team and the Interact Club. Others include Melissa Lam, Melody Song, Jolene Lai, Tan She Dee, Abby Heng... too many to remember.

Yes, I have guy friends too:

Guys from L-R: Dennis Chan, Joshua Tan, Yuen Fatt and Sunil/Sunjay/Rajeev (Melody's boyfriend)

Sorry I can't remember your boyfriend's name, Melody. Dennis Chan is probably one of my closest friends in high school. Joshua Tan and I used to walk home from school together. Yuen Fatt, Joshua, Dennis and I came from the same primary school, SRKSS 19. I don't have any pictures of those times though... Next to April is Melissa Lam (front row, on the left) She's really tall. She's a good friend to me too! She's studying in Australia now though.

Jane Loke. (Sorry, I just had to put this up.)

Going through Jane's mind: ... ... why? why... why is the rice shaped in a ball? hmm... interesting. Okay, that was quite lame. But its better than 'Who's the REAL monkey?' on your blog...

Ps. Ryan Foo and Calvin Tay.

Two men who have profoundly changed my life in their ministry. They lead by example and I'm going to follow that example. (maybe not so much in their 'food' ministry though) I'm sold out to God, Christianity and the vision of AYA as these men are. Excited to see what God is going to do in their lives and in mine!

Thats all for now. Will sleep to fight another day. Just a little bit more...

Photog(enic)raphic memories...

2006-06-16T06:27:00.000+08:00

After receiving numerous comments (complaints) that my Blog is too spiritual for general public consumption, I've decided to balance it out a bit! Browsing some really old pictures and some new ones so I guess I'll just share some pictures of antiquity and chronicle my journey to the present day...

When I was 17. Cool afro huh?

Raffles International Boarding School

After completing my SPM, I did my A-levels in Singapore under ASEAN. This is the place where I stayed. Looks good on the outside doesn't it? The company was good though, many bonds were formed in the the brotherhood (and sisterhood) of being Malaysian, truly Asian.

Still can't forget the 'rebellion' we ochestrated on the 31st of August, when we opened our windows at midnight and shouted 'Merdeka, Merdeka, Merdeka!'

Didn't study in RIBS though, its just where all of us stayed. Many of us studied in a place called Anderson Junior College.

Non Mihi Solum - Not for myself alone.

AJC's crest. Can't really remember much about my 2 years here... all a blur. Circumstantial amnesia (during traumatic experiences) probably. All I can remember is our uniform (yeah we had uniforms in college) looked really like the ones the MRT workers wore. So sometimes in the MRT stations you could mistake one of the workers as a student and vice versa. My class was 11/02 and we had a really nice tutor by the name of Ms. Stephanie Lim (no longer a miss though) and all of us agree that she was probably the nicest and the most beautiful teacher of the entire college. She's happily married now with a baby boy called Evan. Besides her, another tutor of note is my Biology teacher by the name of Mr. Hillary Ho. (no typo here) Blogging about him reminds me of the time when another classmate of mine blogged about him, said some er... hilarious stuff, and he caught wind of it, and there was some big ruckus. Seemingly, Singapore looks seriously upon such things, and the poor girl had to make a public apology.

A big part of my life in Singapore (at least the latter part of it) revolved around church. City Harvest Church, its pastors, its people and its ministry really shaped what was the foundation of the faith that I now hold on to. One sister of mine really encouraged me in my difficulties probably without even knowing she was doing it. She's the first passionate, totally sold out Christian I knew back then (I know plenty now!) and in everything that she did, she glorified God to the fullest. Her name is Chen Sue Ann, a Malaysian scholar from Ipoh. Haven't seen her or talked to her for years... but I hear she's doing great.

Chen Sue Ann. God bless you!

Also wondering how my cell group leader, Brother Patrick is doing. A real man of God, truly encouraged by the way he lives his life. Back then, our cell group sizes were huge! (what would you expect from a 20,000 strong church?) Our meetings would have around 50-60 ppl at once packed like sardines in a house. Our worship once brought a police patrol car to our doorstep! (neighbours complained) and it was here that the importance of praying in the Spirit and edifying your inner man was disciplined into me.

Finishing my A-levels, somehow I knew that God had done a great work in my examinations. Initially a failing student, God brought my grades from B F F F to B B B C in 2 weeks for my trials. Inspired, I knew with 1 month before my actual examination, God can work another miracle provided I had faith enough to believe, and strength enough to work according to my faith. In the end, God blessed me with a result I've never achieved before in my 2 years there: A A A A

Light (and salt) of the Earth. CHC Singapore 2003.

Came back to Malaysia, really challenged, looking for a place to serve and to grow. At the start of my life in Singapore, I always wanted to come home... but at the end of it, I didn't want to. I was reluctant to leave behind all that I've come to love. But God has plans for me.

Went back to Singapore for a short period to attend the ONLY prom I've ever attended in my life. It was a pretty sad affair with people more concerned with taking pictures than paying attention to the performances/food etc.

Singaporean college-mate. Can't remember her name though.

At the end of the prom, everyone was taking more pictures. I was pretty much the social recluse (hard to believe, but believe it!) back then... so I didn't know anyone besides my classmates. Two girls walked up to me and asked me to take a picture of them, which I gladly obliged by taking her camera off her hands. The girl whose camera it was looked at me and said, 'No... I want to take a picture with you!' (Honest!) This is a studio shot of me for the prom. Check out Eugene How's one as well (if you know him)

I came back to Malaysia, this time for good. I could have continued my studies in Singapore in NUS, probably on a scholarship as well for any other course besides Medicine. But I was determined to do Medicine, in which scholarships are seldom offered. Thus, I enrolled into IMU and I'm currently in my 3rd year (and facing my finals this coming July.) God showed me exactly where to serve and grow in: CampusCity Ministries and the ACTS Church under AYA. The circumstances of me joining CC is quite amusing... but I'll leave that out. Much of my life ever since coming back from Singapore has been full of experiences that I wouldn't trade for anything. The joy, satisfaction and fulfillment of 'doing something, saying something that could change a person's life and point him in the direction of Jesus' is undescribable. This is the reason I live my life for. (thank you, Sue Ann for sharing this with me.)

AYA 9th Anniversary Dinner 2004. That's Kat.

My 21'st birthday. The rose among the thorns.

LifeParty 2005 Green is In! Jason Ding the Hippie.

AYA Dream Malaysia Awards 2005. with the Sma (and my italian silk shirt.)

Christmas Musical 2005 The guy who sang a better song. Jason Ding the rockster.

and no, my zip isn't blue. There's something wrong with your eyes.

AYA Festival 2006. Me and my wife - Melody! (You can't touch her, Martin Smith!!!)

AYA Festival 2006. Can't see... *cough* smoke... in our eyes... That's Michelle by the way.

Melaka trip on my 22nd birthday. Thank you for making it memorable!

Since joining AYA and CC, we've been to many states around Malaysia including Kedah, Perak, Johor and Kuching. Strangely enough, I don't have many pictures of our GiGs (Get into God rallies as we call them) One of the most memorable ones was the GiG in Kuching! (hence, the Yodel and 'Happy Birthday Michelle' songs... oh, you should see Michelle eating her cake.) Excellent place, people and food. Would like to work there someday, maybe during my housemanship years.

and finally the most recent happening would be the Easter Play 2006 'Something Playing in my ear and other true stories.' Honoured to be given the privelege to serve God in this manner. Would do it again even if it means getting slapped another 8 times. Managed to share my testimony (hence 'other true stories') after the play. I shed a few tears. lol.

Ms. Samantha Wong the makeup-person. Me with 3 weeks of beard.

Dan the Man putting the finishing touches. I don't wanna die young.

'Ssup with you, dawg?'

'My gwen-fadher...' Chris. She can sing.

and finally...

When I'm 68. No more afro.

Intermission.

2006-06-13T02:56:00.000+08:00

I wish I was by the sea... or in some tropical island far away. (well, not too far.) Even though I can't swim much and I can even drown in a lifejacket, I like the sea somehow.

(and that's the only narcissism you'll see from me, Michelle!)

My mind's saturated now from all the studying... at the point when the words just become a blur of ink swirling together. Even though the going is tough and progress is really slow, I know that God is working in this. Page by page I turn, disease by disease I learn. There's 4 weeks left, and it seems like a lot of time but I think my peers and myself will know otherwise. Having to cover every system from head to toe, know anatomical structures of the remotest parts of your body, (I mean like who cares where the piriformis is?) as well as the formation of urine... Sigh. Just venting some frustration I guess. Don't get me wrong though, I'm far from losing Hope. God's been a pillar of strength in all this and through the next 30 days or so, He'll continue to be! Do pray for me and the rest of us medical students!

The two messages by Pastor Kenneth and Pastor Sandra over the weekend were also God-sent, Spirit-lifting messages. Pastor Kenneth talked about being drunk in the Spirit. Pastor Sandra talked about relationships as she always does, but everytime I hear her speak on this, I always learn something new. She reminded me as did someone else to the importance of being yourself. And of waiting and trusting in God. I went to the services with an expectancy that the Word would change my life, and God didn't dissapoint. Looking forward to next weekend!

Heaven.

2006-06-04T22:45:00.000+08:00

Deeply ministered to by the messages of Rev. Irvin Rutherford. Many of us are. Testimonies of lives lived in Faith for the Glory of God always encourages me. Often times, I wonder if my life would have such an impact as these men of God have had in their lifetimes. But wondering won't get me anywhere. I know where I want to go, and Jesus with me, I know I will succeed.

Rev. Rutherford taught me two things today: take the 'if' out of our relationship with God
and the second, a confirmation of God's revelation on my life:

'You can't truly need God, until God's all you've got left.'

Hillsongs - Heaven

I need Your Love
Like the desert needs the rain
I need Your touch
Like the fire needs the flame

One moment without You near
Is heartache I cannot bear
A lifetime with You O Lord
Is Heaven I long to Know
Heaven

Come over me
Like the oceans meets the shore
Shine on my life
Like the morning steals the night

Simply Worship.

2006-06-02T03:24:00.000+08:00

It's 3.25 am on the 2nd of June, and I just woke up from sleep. It's raining, I was dead tired before I slept, and I have a class at 8.30 am. With only 3 hours of sleep I should be irritated beyond measure, but I'm not. I sat up on my bed, the first thought on my mind is that God wants to do something and excitement filled my heart. It wasn't always like this, but now I thank God that He's as delighted as I am with the intimate relationship that we share. So, sitting there in the darkness, I was just overwhelmed by the wonder of it all, overwhelmed by the Love and Grace that covers my life.

A personal breakthrough of mine is realizing the need of God. It seems that I cannot go to sleep nowadays without really coming to Him. I used to struggle alot in being faithful with my quiet time, but that's changed. Yesterday, my whole day was filled with ministry. I worshipped, danced and prayed for the King I love, and at the end of this fulfilling day I was exhausted... Expecting God to understand my need of rest, I talked with my God for 15 minutes and feel asleep.

Here I am 3 hours later, refreshed and renewed by the only One who can give rest. As I expected, God understood my need of rest. He took care of that. But I didn't realize my need for Him is greater than any other need I'll ever know.

So now, I'm going to meet with the Lover of my Soul.

Hillsongs - Simply Worship

I come to You in humble sacrifice
Hear my heart, I worship
The cares of life, I lay them at Your throne
With child like faith I simply worship You

No greater love has my heart ever known
In awe of You, I worship
My spirit soars when my heart meets with Yours
Embraced in love, I simply worship

Jesus, How could I live without You?
Jesus, I simply worship You

Your love compels me to come
Into Your presence, I will run

Need.

2006-05-25T06:17:00.000+08:00

Need.

We need air to fill our lungs, we need food and drink to sustain our body. These are the physical needs we often overlook or attribute any importance to. But our lack of attention to these things do not diminish its importance in our lives. Just try holding your breath and see what happens? Did you know it's impossible to commit suicide by holding your breath? At some point, your brain will kick in and force you to take that gasp of air.

As a Christian, and one who loves to worship God... I have come across many songs which translate these basic needs of ours into a spiritual sense: 'You're the air that I breath, the water I thirst for' (Avalon - Everything to me) is but one example. 'I can't live a day without You' is another. Beautiful words, beautiful songs, but perhaps some of us may have taken these words for granted? I know I struggle... Someone once taught me that 'impurity' is when body, mind and soul are not in line with one another: meaning you can be saying one thing, not truly meaning what you say, and doing something else altogether. I have a Christian sister who would refuse to sing lines like 'I can't live without You' or 'I would die for You' because she knew that she hasn't reached that point where she could truly mean what she sang. I found her principle admirable in a way that she wanted to be honest with God and herself...

God has been so good to me and continues to be every single day of my life. While I don't know whether I could sing the lines above and mean them, I know I can mean 'On mountaintops or in valleys, I will praise Your name irregardless'. This is my own personal breakthrough that in good or bad times, I have learnt to give thanks to God for them. Every single valley experience with Him walking me through it has at the end made me a stronger, better person and continues to mould me more and more like Him. Every mountaintop experience has been pure exhilaration.

God showed me what it meant to need Him. There was a period of time when I was really under a lot of burdens... and it really bore down on me during those times, I lost all desire and motivation to do anything. I couldn't taste the food I was eating, I couldn't get any rest when I slept, I couldn't find Joy let alone Strength. Of course, as a Christian, I sought Jesus the only way i knew how, the way I was accustomed to. Prayers of Convenience. Prayers of Need. Not needing God, but needs to be fulfilled.

No dice. Standstill. Brick wall.

Almost desperate, I remembered Jeremiah 29:12-14, the verses after the famous 'I know the plans I have for you...' It says simply: Seek Him with all your heart, and you will find Him. And so I did. I looked. but couldn't see. I sought, but couldn't find. I continued to seek, and seek and seek... I cried out to Him but silence only greeted me. Hours flew by without my heavy laden heart taking any notice. It was like clawing with my fingernails trying to break down that brick wall. Like wandering in the darkness. Exhausted I lay on my bed, tears of futility and hopelessness my only companion.

and then suddenly: He was there.

and it was then in His embrace I knew I needed Him. I always have. I have always said I have, but it was different now that I knew it to be true. Understand that I've never doubted this truth, but personally now, on a God-Ben Shyen intimacy, its true.

and I rejoiced.

The Long Wait.

2006-05-24T18:33:00.000+08:00

With my last post dating early April, I feel an explanation should be made concerning my long hiatus. As the image above should suggest, I am in the midst of academic preparation for what is the last lap of my medical studies in Phase I. I will be facing my last systems paper, the Central Nervous System on the 26th of May and from the 17th to the 21st of July, the End of Semester 5 examinations.

Successfully passing these examinations, I will continue my 2nd phase of medical studies in Seremban, posted to the Seremban General Hospital. Interestingly enough, I'm actually looking forward to it even though it would mean leaving and all that is associated with leaving; especially the family that I've grown to love in CampusCity and ACTS. Finally, I would be one step closer in realizing my childhood 'dream'. The ambition hasn't changed, but the reason behind it has matured over time. God is and always will be the center of my focus, and I pray that He can use my studies for His glory.

Do pray for me if you can find the time! Thank you all for the encouragements that you've given me so far...

God bless.

Wanting that Special thing...

2006-04-10T17:43:00.000+08:00

Wanting that Special thing...

Our hearts desire many things. Sometimes we get what we want, sometimes we don't. But when we do... All of us can remember when we got something we really wanted, maybe as a gift or saved enough money to get. Sometimes we want things that we know aren't good for us, but yet we want it anyway. I don't speak from experience... but I have had my fair share of not getting what I want in Life. Strangely enough, even more so as a Christian... but there's a difference. Let me start right from the beginning, the point where Life for me really began.

Before I knew Him, I never knew I wanted to be a Christian. Even when I raised my hand in response to the call from the pastor, I didn't really want to. All I knew is that I wanted change... Change in my life which seemed so... so lifeless. I wanted things to be different, but how exactly I did not know.

Did my life change?

No, not immediately. But I believe something did take place in my heart and the heavenly places. A beginning of sorts. For a while, I struggled to believe, to try to understand, pretending that I did most of the time. But even in this confusion, there was a sense of awe, of excitement, a breathtaking anticipation of the life promised that is to come... and I felt, that this is indeed what I wanted my life to mean.

The ink on my name hasn't dried yet in the Book of Life when God impressed on my heart:
'You will fall, and it will be a long time before you get back up.'
My response:
'No, I just found You. I love you too much to let You go.'
Sounds familiar doesn't it? The story of how Jesus knew that Peter would deny Him three times... and what's similar in both these stories is that we both really wanted to mean what we say.

But God knows us better than we know ourselves.

(to be continued...)

What is Eternal?

2006-04-03T02:18:00.000+08:00

Aeterna Caelestis - Celestial Eternity

What is eternal? What is temporal?
Consider your actions, what you did today... and ask yourself one question: Which of these will remain in rememberance after Sleep's Silhouette steals from your memories?

I remember...
nothing. At the end of the day, many of our actions and what we do amount for nothing. Almost in despair, I desperately searched for a 'meaning', a 'purpose' to what I have done and whether anyone would know, would care, would remember...

then I remembered...
You. The things that I do for Your sake. These things are Eternal. Irregardless of the appreciation, the praise of Men non-withstanding. I can only remember these things that I do knowing that they please You. The rest remains a blur, a flickering light in contrast to the perfectly cut 'diamond' of the brilliant reality that is You.

I remember the Holy Spirit taking over everytime I begin to share about the Love of Jesus and what He's done for my life... I remember the comforting of my soul, and being in the Shadow of Wings as a nestling. I remember the initial hesitance of raising my hands emulating my Christian brother next to me doing so while praising You... and the willingness I now have to be even more undignified than this, jumping and shouting about the Worthiness of Your Name. I remember every single time I fell to my knees. I remember the things that I do for Your sake... but most of all, I remember what You have done for mine.
After 22 years of life... The things that i remember most clearly, are my experiences with You.

What is eternal?
You are Eternal.

My dear friends who will read this one day... I don't know what inspired me to begin publishing a blog. But one thing is for sure, I do not want to post about issues that are temporal... about things that I won't remember past this day. I want to share with you my deepest convictions, and to know yours. Will you help me? Share with me what you feel and I know that I'll be blessed, and perhaps yourself as well... I've learnt that sharing and writing about your experiences with God would help put the things that He did for you as well as the things that you've done for Him into rememberance. Share with me the Eternal things in Life, your Life.
Who knows who you might just touch with your Life's story?

and to my friends who do not share in the same belief as I do who stumble across this blog... I hope that you do not write this off so easily as just the ramblings of religiosity. Stay with me, give me a chance to be relevant to you as Christ is relevant to me... and maybe, just maybe... You would find the answer to the question that you never knew you were asking.